Wednesday is a day of doom. I'm leaving to Girls Camp as a youth leader for my church. No, that's not the doom. Maddie isn't coming with me. My mom has offered her services as babysitter for four days. My anxiety is caused by two factors. 1: This will be my first time away from Maddie. 2: This will be the end of my nursing with Maddie. The past week has been really hard because every time I nurse her I get all weepy and motherly and hate the fact that she's growing up and growing more independent. Geez I'm crying as I type. Casey has been putting her to bed a few nights a week just to make sure she will do okay with my mom. I hate it. I know it's selfish, but I just want to cherish every last opportunity with her. I know, I know, I need to let go at some point, she is 14 months; a very normal age to be weaned. Months ago I was so excited to get the kid off the boob, especially those dang teeth. Seriously, who knew such pain? Maybe that's how guys feel when they get knocked down below.

So wish me luck, wish my mom luck and wish Maddie luck. I just know she will hate me when she returns, and I won't even be able to give her the comfort she wants. Gosh being a mom is hard sometimes.